Black holes and other absurdities....

People talk about black holes like they really know what they are, but rarely, do they understand them.  It's a theory that astronomers and scientists may debate and speak on like its fact, but the thing is, no one has really PROVED there are black holes in space. However, I have experienced one personally!

I have seen people with black hearts, black souls, and even a few running in the black.  I have even experienced a few black inky nights where I could not see my own hand in front of my face, but a black hole?  I have been shopping on Black Friday, and I have been working on Black Friday(two VASTLY different angles on the same event!).  Still, did not experience a black hole till.....

I was going through a rough patch in life, jobs were hard to come by, my home had been damaged in a hail storm, the insurance company slow to respond, my Dad died, my dog died, and my health took a spin on the roulette wheel and I was on the losing end!

During that sad time in life, I also began to experience some issues that required more testing and as part of that process, I was sent for a Vag Scan.  If you have ever had one, you know just how invasive they are.  And I might add, no dinner, flowers or kiss is involved.  It's not very romantic, but it is a bit of a clinical experience most of us would prefer to skip and not really repeat, unless, you were like me, in need of more info and possibly an answer as to why a grown woman in her 50's would suddenly come out of menopause after 7 years contentedly enjoying it!

The scan showed a black hole in the lining of my uterus, such as it was.  Everything looked liked a striated steak, except a small black hole.  THE ENEMY!  It looked odd, there all by itself, and for all the symptoms I was experiencing, it seemed rather small to be causing all that trouble.  Surely there was more to this, then THAT!  But in looking carefully at the black hole, I began to appreciate the monster growing inside me was actually a pretty big hole and probably going to be a big deal!  That black hole was going to upset my apple cart as surely as Carter had pills!

It seemed to make everybody start talking in hushed tones, quit smiling and laughing and put everyone on edge and look at me funny!  I sure didn't like that very much at all!  All I knew was this little black hole was making a lot of people very nervous and that made me nervous!  It seemed absurd that something the size of my thumb print could be THAT big of a deal, you know, UNLESS, it was something more!

As it turned out, it was something much, much more!  It was quickly biopsied, twice just to be sure they had a good piece of it, and within hours, the results sitting on the doctors desk, and my Mother and I standing there with our eyes akin to deer with their eyes caught in the headlights!  It wasn't good at all!  Surgery was quickly rolled out as the only option, with more to be discussed once the black hole was excised and dissected and the pathologist brought in to examine it.  And oh, we are taking EVERYTHING that isn't nailed down in there....say good bye uterus, Fallopian tubes, ovaries and just to be extra sure, we are also taking your cervix.  Well, OK, I wasn't really using them anymore anyways!  TAKE IT ALL if you want to!

And so they did.  Within 72 hours, I was on a surgical table, being wheeled into surgery, WHAM BAM THANK YOU MAM!  Afterwards, I was informed all went well, they got it all, it hadn't perforated the uterus, and yes, it was confirmed as cancer, even though the biopsies had proclaimed pre-cancerous, it was such an aggressive form, that it had already turned into cancer on what had not been touched during the two biopsies.  WOW!  Lucky me!

In a funny way, I felt like not only had part of me been gutted like a fish, but that I had also dodged a bullet.  Life would feel different and I would feel as if something was missing for about 6 months after, before regaining myself again!

There was the black abyss of emotions that followed having a total hysterectomy, because even though I had pretty much sailed through menopause, this was a complete dry up of hormones, they stole everything that could produce one there!  So now I got to experience what they call a hard menopause!  Yea ME!  Not a fun ride, but considering the alternatives, I guess I counted myself fortunate, I did not have to have follow up treatments, no chemo, I was golden!  So I just pushed through and made my way to the other side and counted my blessings.  Oh and by the way, your chances of getting breast cancer now go up dramatically and you will need to follow up on that for....well.....the rest of your life!  Pay the cashier on your way out!

My black hole resulted in things coming out of it, and in space, I understand the theory is, that it sucks everything into it!  But then, I suppose its ones perspective on black holes and their understanding of what one is.  In my case, it took things away from me, most, I easily have lived without, not really making that much of a difference in my life, but in some measure, it made a huge difference in my moods, my feelings and most of all, on how I now view the world and life within it!  The good thing is, I am still here, I am still standing and I am still without signs of cancer!  Yea ME!

Please feel free to leave a comment!

<a href="https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/black/">Black</a>

The fight of the NEOPHYTE

It seems life is always throwing me curve balls. There must be someone, or something, or some reason for all of this.  When I am at church, it is GOD, and in moments of aloneness, I know there is a God.  But for the day to day life, it just seems so.....so RANDOM!  It rarely goes too long on a good path, or a bad path for that matter, but the detours, well, now, that's a whole different thing!  Those seem to go on and on!

For now, I seem to be riding a high wave of all kinds of job offers and that is almost blowing my mind, since I have been in a job desert for some time now.  Almost unemployable due to my advanced age and total lack of value being an old broken down, used up mare!  Or so the job market has been saying, since I could not even get a call back saying "No!  We do not want you!"  Yes, that's BAD!  But back to the job offers!

See, I have this manager with one of the companies that I have worked for, for over 4 years.  She comes, she goes, but she never STAYS GONE!  Like a bad penny, she just keeps showing up!  Why?  Because she can!  Why?  Because she is mean as dirt and frankly, I must have kicked sand in God's face on Sunday or something!  Because because because I said so!  I no sooner hook up with a lovely, nice, kind manager, and 6 months later, I am back on the dirtbags team again!  So, recently, I got the message from my ever so sweet, kind lovely manager of the month, that she was leaving with her newly acquired husband and moving to NC and therefore, her territory would be divied up and I would once again, wait for it, be tossed back into the pits of Hell ....uh....I mean back on TAMMY'S team!  I know the drill!

So there I was, no one could tell me who....but I KNEW WHO!  They made me wait for it.  They eased her in this time, sure, just filling in till they found someone, they said....but there she was, fill in of the worst kind!  Just till she could take it back over and make me suffer.....slowly.....surely....completely.  My jobs began to dry up, no more incoming work, and if there was some, well, it was the dregs!  It was long drives, hateful work, early hours, late into the night, working with other discontents in the same rotten boat as me!  But this time, I decided to fight back!

Yes, little old broken down mare still had some kick left in her, and kick I did!  So what if I got fired?!  What?  Like at 60 I would die from the shame?  Not likely!  Starvation, maybe, but shame????  NEVER!  I have seen myself naked, others have seen me naked, if that didn't kill me, or others, it wasn't going to now either!  So anyways, I began by marching up the food chain of managers, her highness included.  And then I made a beeline right into the heart of HR.  I shot off a complaint, a concern, an issue!  What did I have to lose?  A job with no hours?!  I LAUGH!  Ha ha!

I also began sending off righteous resumes, touting myself as all that and a bag of chips, no matter what SHE THOUGHT!  I thought different!  Low and behold, after 4 resumes and job apps, I was spent!  I crawled off to bed to await my fate.  I knew there would be no calls backs,  We have been on this road for many, many, many years.  No one wants to hire a tired old horse!  No matter how useful she still is, they want a younger, more plyable and less health expensive option and that is 1/3 her age!  This was going to be a bumpy ride.....CLICK SEND!

I got a call the following morning, I had a 1/2 hour phone interview, and then an invite for a face to face the following day!  I breezed through it, they offered full time employment and just to whet the whistle, a $1 than the witch was paying, and a full benefits package.  Be still my beating heart!  I was reveling in that I was wanted, for once, in a very long time!  Steady girl....this is a fluke!  Don't get too full of yourself!

The next morning, there was an email, another company wanted me, they wanted me BAD!  Oh sure....only paid $2 more an hour than the slavemaster I was presently working for, but I'm up for it!  And they only had a few hours, here and there, but it was steady, it was close by, and I was happy!  I was ecstatic!  I mean they really liked me!

But then, another email......yes, they wanted to TALK to me!  What?  MOI????? How about Tuesday, what time was good for me?  Oh YES, Tuesday is fine!  10 am works!  How about you!  Will call you at 10 am then!  The phone interview was pure joy!  Easy questions, the answers were perfect and well received!  Kicked up to the hiring manager, wanted to SKYPE?  OMG!  They must have thought I was 20, maybe they had read my birthdate wrong?  Maybe I had typed it in wrong, after all, this was done in the middle of the night after a very long and arduous day of foolishness with her highness.   Now they would see how old this dog was!  Oh well, I could use the practice!  SO WHAT!  Let them look!

The SKYPE interview didn't happen, she simply called me, the technology having eluded her, she simply phoned!  Oh, and after I had gotten my 8 yo great nephew on the horn to ask him what my SKYPE name was and where was it on my phone?  He had to walk me through the steps before bedtime.  He thought I should reschedule and pick him up from school and he would be there to save my bacon and not let my limited technological inexperience show!  But, some how, I managed to wow her too!  WHOA!  I was on a roll!  They wanted me too!  And the money tree was shaking out and extra $4 more an hour than that old battleaxe!  Hmmmmmm......this was getting interesting!

But the real problem was still there, now HR was involved, and did I mention, one of the jobs was within the very company I was locked into mortal combat with?  Yes, that call came in from HR, having reviewed my complaint, my concern, my rage against the establishment, was being investigated, because they were concerned for me, the company and all the bad, horrible publicity it would cause if it were found to be true.  They wanted to get her side of it, of course, so get her side, I have already heard it a few times, but I'd like to hear what YOU think when you hear it and see if it sounds to you, like it sounds to me?  But in the meantime, could I please just hold steady?  Oh sure, its not like any of the jobs started for a bit, one wanted a full back ground check, one wanted a full blood panel, you know, just in case I was on the crack pipe when I sent in my resume!  And yet another was requesting an MVR, a drug panel and proof of vehicle insurance!  Plus, I had to give notice to the witch, and at this point, WHY?  There was NO WORK!  But still, I needed to stall for time, as really, I was not capable of handling ALL those jobs, and I wasn't sure who would fall out and which offer might dry up, so I was playing it really cool!

I do not remember any in past memory being shy about letting me know (if they called at all, I mean) that they had 3000 applicants for the sewer rats job at $7.45 an hour!  So why should I volunteer I was considering all my options and just waiting for God to usher me where He knew I would thrive?  So why say anything?  Keep all options open till you hear the cash register ring!  A couple sent it in writing, a couple are pending, waiting for all checks to come back that I am not Osma Bin Ladens cousin, or on the No Fly List, the FBI doesn't have me flagged and yes, I am able to work here in this country, heck I was even born here!  And give me a minute, I can pass the drug screen, probably, in my sleep!  Well, more than likely!  Well, we will just wait and see and make sure I didn't get some sort of contact high from the kids next door, that's my story and I am sticking to it!

So here I was, Belle of the ball!  For one moment, caught up in that I knew for sure, I wasn't going to be eating her cocktails of BS and disdain anymore and no longer having to be ticked off about her complete lack of civility towards me, despite having always done my job, never having been late or having missed a job in all my time with her or anyone else in that company! 

HR called back again, they had her oral version, they were going to continue to follow up and they would be checking into the records further to confirm or deny what was being said.  They noted she claimed I was turning down work.  Despite my denial, I realized, yes there were two, an hour away from me, no paid drive time, no paid mileage, for 30 minutes each, really?  So I explained myself, yes, two....financially unfeasible jobs for me to drive two hours to get paid for 30 minutes, plus to eat the gas and wear and tear on my vehicle, was this a problem?  Not for me!  For her, apparently!  But I didn't care!  And I told them so.  I also said I wanted them to KNOW, I was looking for anywhere but HER team.  The HR girl felt sorry for me, asked for the job number I was trying to scootch into.  She could hook me up, make a recommendation and get me out the door of Tammy the Terrors Team!  She could see I had never failed in all my time with them!  Even Tammy couldn't overcome THAT!  So now, the fourth offer fell into line.....still waiting for the $$$ amount, but it matters not.  My time with Tammy is coming to an end, on my terms, and in the end, she did me a HUGE solid!  No more am I running on empty here, no more will I have to eat her crow!  No more will I have to suck it up and pretend it doesn't hurt!  The NEOPHYTE was no more!  Having learned her hard lessons, she was not looking back, but forward!

I'm riding a wave here....but waves are rarely long rides, so I shall make the best of my time in the sun here!  I will bask in all my glory as I type up an EPIC resignation letter, preferably one that drips sarcasm, acid and just a snots worth of gratitude, with just the right amount of smarmy undertones that only her black hole of a heart will appreciate and lets her know that she has just been served!  And in the end, my replacement will cost her well more than the pittance I was being paid, since those wages are slave wages, and by the looks of things, I could get more at Micky D's place serving up soda and fries!  So I shall type that up, save it to my hard drive so that I may relive it, over and over, and remember when I got so close to the sun!

Neophyte

Catching up is hard to do.....

Its been a long time since I posted!  Job changes, family changes, lots of ups and downs, mostly downs.....So many, I do not know where to begin.

Grams passed away, shortly after her starting to look so fragile.  It was a slow, downward spiral, that ended in Hospice and going almost to the last day they hold you there.  It wasn't fun.  Mom fretted and warted over the whole thing, like she could stop the inevitable by sheer will.  Even Moms iron willed force couldn't stop Grams from passing over into the light.  It was just time, the body could not keep going.  I miss Grams, her little ways, she made me laugh and we enjoyed so many happy moments with just little glances and eye rolls, between us.  We were like spoiled little sisters up to no good and enjoying that no one had caught onto our shenanigans!  My partner in crime is gone and now, its back to Mom and I.  She's not really happy, the world is coming to an end, people in the world hate us and want to do us in, and the government is just a bunch of liberals, picking the pockets of the innocent taxpayers who foot the bills for every crackpot scheme dreamed up in Washington DC.  Bunch of COMMIE/deadbeat/criminal/Muslim sadists!  I'm just a fool for trying to not think about anything, but whats on my plate in front of me!  Its every man/woman for herself here!  

Oh and did I mention?  Another round with cancer......yes....well....first...at the end of October 2010, my Dad passed.  I thought I wouldn't really be too disturbed about it, after all, so many things, so much water under the bridge and all.  But instead, I was hit with waves of emotions that had no words to describe them, no words in the dictionary to put ones finger on and say "AH HA!  Thats what I am feeling!  Thats what I am going through!"  There were no words I could say to someone to explain myself!  Insanity, confusion, absolute devastation, hurt, anger, melancholy, troubled, bottled up, hateful and something akin to a 2 year old throwing themselves on the floor and untouchable!  No ice cream cone was going to fix this.  There was no band-aid in the world that could cover the wounds.  Even now, I cannot come up with adequate words to cover the ordeal.  So I will leave that for now, just let it be whatever it was. 

 Right on the heals of that news, I came out of menopause.  Doctor thought, possibly stress?  Nerves?  We went into a holding pattern, waiting to see if the spotting and periods went back into dormant slumber, or continued.  They continued.  Doctor then began ordering up tests, scans, blood work, and finally, last ditch effort to put a name to the beast, two biopsies.  I knew the answers were going to be bad.  During the scan, the little sweet scanner, was chipper and chatty.  She moved me here, she moved me there, more pictures, more scans.  Chatting away.  Then silence, hold still, let me retake that.....let me move you a little this way, a little that way, no more chatter, no more lilt in her voice.  I knew she saw my troubles there on the screen.  When all was done and said, she hugged me and said she would pray that I felt better soon.  I didn't feel bad, just having periods with no rhyme or reason, actually, more of an annoyance actually.  Then I asked her to show me the scans, what made her quiet?  She tried not to show any emotion, she said, "Oh I can't diagnose you, that's for the Doctor to do"  Yeah yeah yeah...."Show me what you are sending him, please!"  She pointed to the screen, it looked sort of fuzzy....little lines through all of it and I could make out kind of what was what.  But one little spot looked like a black hole.  THAT was the enemy!  It was just solid, it stood out just because there were no striations, no fuzzy, just a black mark, like that spot had been filled in with a Sharpie.  Hmmmmmmm.....this can't be good.

The next day, the Doctors office called, they had made an appointment with an OB/GYN and they were quite adamant that I not cancel this appointment of be late!!  When had I EVER done that?  The appointment was a day later, to a doctor that normally took months to see, and I was the last appointment of the day (I bet they were staying late, just for me).  The Doctor, Dr. Harris, met me, a smallish man, big personality, somewhat stern and an odd duck.  He started with he wanted a repeat scan....my objections were quickly stifled with, he liked to do his own!  Well ok then....I was given a gown...I was getting sick of these things...and led around the building and asked to change and get up into the typical, assume the position, we want to look at your insides, your personal spaces, no kiss, no dinner, no flowers.  It seemed like a really big room for this task.  He popped his head in, "was I ready?".  Sure, go ahead, look at my exposed privates....sir!  In he came with his nurse, assistant, partner in crime.  He got right down to my business.  Warned me of things he was doing, feelings, and now this is going to happen, all the while, looking at the screen.....I made a few smart remarks, and for a few minutes, they both played along......then that deafening silence.  Gee, I sure know how to close down a party, eh Dr?  More probing, more prodding, more observation, more poking.  And just about the point I was ready to give him a rectal exam, he stopped.  It was over.  He said "Lets go to another room, and I'll carry your things for you!"  Hmmmmm.....I looked both of them in the eye....looked like sharks looking back, I had this sudden feeling I wanted to run, to grab my things from his hands, knock him to the ground and run out the front door, gown flapping in the wind!  I said, "No, I can carry my own things, thank you!"  The nurse shook her head....like no you can't....and he said "No, I'll carry them!" Very insistent!  I said "Why?"  He says "Because I'm going to do something very mean to you in a few minutes and this will make me feel better!"  Well, alright then.  Confused, dazed and feeling like my head was about to explode, I made my way down the hallway, back around the building, no one else was left, all the staff except him and the nurse were left.  This didn't feel good.  My ears were ringing, I could feel and hear my heart in my ears.  The nurse stopped my at the room she wanted me in and said "In here!  Hop up on the table and the Dr will be with you in a minute.  He had disappeared, then she did too.  Oh what diabolical plot were they about to unleash on me?  Were they looking for the spiked dog collar?  Handcuffs?  Devices to torture me with? 

 I looked around the room, an instrument table on wheels sat nearby, neatly covered something underneath.  A sink, soap, towels....and small stool on wheels, drawers and a window much too small and high to climb out of.  I took a deep breath....whatever....its going to be whatever its going to be.  Then his little knock, in he came, all suited up in blue garb, a face mask, and gloves and the nurse right at his side.  Oh this really can't be good!  He said "I want to do a biopsy, or two!"  I said ok...they weren't smiling.  He went straight to work, the nurse whisking off the cover and a line of very serious looking tools, all covered in packages and plastic, he directed her to the ones he wanted unsealed.  They worked quickly and quietly.  All the sudden, he produced a large syringe and told me it might sting, it might hurt....I kept looking at the ceiling trying to decide why nothing was up there to look at, no tiles to count, no crystal mobile to distract me.....then I felt it....it was like a bunch of bees attacking one little soft spot.....possible those African killer bees....maybe wasps?  It hurt like Hell!  "Ok, now I am going to do the biopsy".  Are you kidding me?  You mean we are not done yet?  Oh Mother of Pearl  I couldn't breathe....I wanted to get up and hit him, but was immobilized from a deep pain.  He said "I'd like to take one more!"  I glared at him and hissed "Well take it now....or I am leaving!"  And quick as a wink....another searing swarm of bees attacked my insides.  I was sure I would faint. 

 Once done, he tossed the weapons to the tray and smiled "See, I told you I was going to do something mean!".  Yes....I get it!  You were right....I should have ran when I had the chance!  He covered the already labeled containers and advised he would have the pathologist get right on this and I should call him Saturday morning and scribbled his home number on a piece of paper.  Now I knew the end must be near, no Doctor, no matter how lovely EVER had given me a home number.  Maybe a beeper number, but NEVER a home number!  This was Wednesday.  Ok fine...Saturday I will call you at 3 am.....just for giggles.....after all, he had just rearranged my uterus in such a way I didn't think I would ever want ANYONE to touch it again!  I felt sure this wasn't going to end well. 

 I went home, barely breathing, barely aware, trying to keep all those thoughts outside of me, What if?  Shut up little voice!  Maybe its curable?  Shut up!  This would be ANOTHER round of cancer!  NUMBER 3!!!!!  Shut up SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!!  I went to bed.  Tried not to think, glad he had at least given me something to take the edge off the pain, and soon dropped off to sleep. 

In the morning, I ran about, getting ready for work, slipping a few pain pills into my bag for the day.  Ok, purse, bag, keys, cell phone, check check check.  Off to work.  I got there early, as usual, ready to spend a day in mindless misery, listening to people drone on about their packages that hadn't arrived on time, a day of skiing missed because some special doo dad had not shown up for its promised delivery time of 10 am!  It now being 10:01!  These problems seemed to pale in comparison to the hamster wheel running in my mind. 

 The Doctors office called, just as I started to log into my computers.  Oh joy!  Yes?  They said the doctor wanted me in his office right away.  "For what?" I asked sullenly.  The results are back!  Oh, what fresh slice of Hell is this?  I started to argue and point out, I had plans to call him Saturday....EARLY morning!  3 am to be exact, seemed fair to me!  This is only Thursday missy!  Way too soon to be back in his presence just yet, I was still wincing!  Yeah, that didn't move them in any kind of way, except to become rather pushy and demand I come directly to his office NOW!  I hung up. 

 How could I?  This was a new job, I had just spent the last 6 weeks training, testing and preparing for this, and if I missed a day, I felt surely my job would be in jeopardy!  These people were without any empathy whatsoever!  I looked around, no boss in site, just a dimmed down floor...they did that so people kept their voices down, and all the computers glowed in the semi light.  I realized I was crying, I was gasping, my ears were ringing so loud I was sure someone would tell me to dim it down a notch!  Then there were 2 of my classmates, whats wrong, why are you crying....then I saw my trainer, Jessica...she was like Roger Rabbits wife....very sexy pretty in a very fresh faced girl next door look, with strawberry blonde hair and freckles and very soft eyes!  It all gushed out, she knew about the scans, the tests and so on, because on a few training days I was afraid I might not be there on time (I was, but I fretted!).  She said "Go!  I'll let them know for you!  Keep us posted!" 

 I grabbed up my things, and rushed out the door, calling Mom, calling friends, in pure panic, hoping someone would say "Its nothing!  They are just being dramatic!  Nothing to see here!"  But no one said that!  I was driving down the interstate in seconds, and knew my life was going to change, change in ways I could not possibly imagine, and just prayed I would make it out alive on the other side.  BREATHE DAMMIT!  My Mom came in minutes behind me.  We were ushered into his office.  He appeared, birdlike, with a manila folder in his hands.  "Well, its not good".  OH?  I thought I was here to get a balloon and some popcorn!  And....and....and...???

"This is a very vigorous form of pre-cancer cells, that can turn very quickly and move very quickly".  We need to operate and it will have to be Monday, as that is my last day of surgery, as I will be leaving for a long vacation later in the week, and would not be able to perform an operation until next month, and that would be too late!"  Wait wait wait!  I need a minute here...he gave us the run down, the options "Do it or die!" and a warning not to think too much about it, he was good and he would do whatever it took to get it out of me.  He was only concerned that it had not perforated the uterine wall, nor spread!  

My time slipped past so quick, running around, trying to make arrangements, in case, in case of what, I wasn't sure, but I made notes, things for this person, things for that person, and no time to see a lawyer, to draw up papers, legal or otherwise.  Going in for blood work and pre-op and I was just numb.  I didn't want to think about anything except what was right in front of me.  I didn't want to talk,  I thought about Grams, my Dad, my Granny, all the people ahead of me in line.  I heard my pets would be there waiting, I missed some of them still!  I prayed.  Every once in a while, I would catch myself, in a moment of weakness, and cry, then scream "Devil get away from me!" and move on through the next task!

Am I a hoarder or creative?

It seems lately, I have noticed a distinct change in my orderly habits. What once was stuff being saved and gotten for the house, either in projects or rooms to renovate, it seems, my things have gotten ahead of the items and projects. I have not enough house to hold, nor build said projects, unless I opt for buying a home with 10 bedrooms, and 5 bathrooms 4 kitchens,and several living rooms and dining rooms. I admit, it is hard to let lovely old things go to the landfill, but I simply must find a way to edit the things I am choosing and deciding where they will actually go. Admittedly, many items have been used, rather successfully, and cheaply I might add, to the overall design. The problem is, when it comes to ridding myself of the "extras", I find it nearly impossible to set it back to the curb and release it to someone else with good ideas and intentions. So recently, I have set about sorting, binning and decluttering, sometimes a box at a time, sometimes, in really good moments, it just simply goes in the van and straight to the donation center or to the curb on trash day. I have yet to run back out and drag it back in, but a few times, I have found myself thinking about it.
I watch that show called "Hoarders" and I know I am not to that level, but surely, each of them once was neat and clean. While I know I have trouble of letting these mighty old and wonderful relics go, or stay at the curb, I have NEVER resorted to saving TRASH or filth. Many of those who have come to my house remark about what cool stuff I have, and sometimes, I find myself thinking "See, others can see the value too!". But then again, many a good friend has also noted to me, "Gee you have SO MUCH stuff!" Read that as "TOO MUCH STUFF!". Not so cool. Hmmmmm........
Okay, so I am determined to turn over a new leaf, the thing that has appeared on all my New Years Resolution Lists for the past 8 years, will again, be leading the Resolution List for 2011 too. I am going to do it for sure this upcoming year........
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..........is that some old brick?

grandmasattictreasures

grandmasattictreasures

When will Mom move?

grandmasattictreasures

He works on Sunday too!

This morning I woke up to a sick Mom and a sleepy niece. As I ran around trying to get ready for church I see the blue truck of the gutter and siding guy pull up. What's this I thought? He left something he needed? Nope! He started with the saw and the hammer while I was taking a shower. Thank goodness everyone was up and going to church around here, or just simply didn't mind the noise. But he had moved his little roadshow to the back of the house, so no one should have been bothered at all. Can you believe it? The guy works on Sundays! I went out with the family after church, dropped Mom's car that Ted and Jenny had been using while one of theirs was in the shop. Yup! Still sick Mom was. Then off to eat, when I got back, the man was still working. I decided I should wash my car and Moms. Then, there was still light and it was really nice out, so I started scraping the sidewalk of grass. Somehow, it looked relatively easy, but that's how stuff like this always starts, doesn't it? Two hours later, I was still scraping. Piles and piles of grass, weeds and Tennessee silt and mud. I tried filling in patches in the lawn, holes from having a pipe replaced in the front yard, just anything to get to a spot where I could stop! Finally, did, then washed off the sidewalks and walkways. The siding and gutter guy finally packed it in and said he would probably not be back until next week, as he was on a job he had promised well before mine and would have to get "on that" this week. No problem I said, do it when you are finished. He said he'd "get 'er done, don't you worry mam'". I believe him too! I don't know his name, but he is a hard worker, just like Josh. Speaking of which, he came by and we discussed french doors. He's ready to get on that! So maybe he can work on that until the siding and gutter guy comes back. In the meantime, I have the estimator coming from Lowe's to measure up for the gutting of the kitchen.....its all starting to move VERY fast! The house is starting to look more of what I envisioned.....so much to do.

Just missing playing with friends....

I have been here now since October, and flipping through these blogs has made me realize how much I miss going out and playing with my friends. Of course if you aren't going to church here everyday, you are some kind of heathen. And while I do believe in and love God and Jesus, I am not ready to become a full time, bible thumping, evangilistic, Screamin' demon killer (check me later after the full conversion!). While I don't mind discussing theologic problems of the world and expounding on my twist of how to make it all right, I am just looking for more than christianity to hold it all for me. Just like I don't think a man is a solution to all my problems, I don't think religion solves all your problems. Yes, yes, I know God can do anything, He's God after all, but I just don't think that praying for a good parking spot is really a good use of His time. Do you know what I mean? So anyways, here I am, half heathen, one foot in Hell the other one on a banana peel, sliding down the hill, and I am wishing I was back in Jersey or Florida with my hedonistic friends swilling down a vodka martini with a glass full of olives on the side, making cracks about work, talking smack about everyone that isn't there and laughing my fool head off. Is that so hard? Yes, just someone to go hang out with and have a drink.....yeah.....I'm going straight to Hell alright. Maybe I'll call and see what they are doing.....probably making plans to go meet at Caffreys or worse.....the Lighthouse....where the men suck but the drinks don't. HEY! Wait for ME!